The Grand Advantage, Part One: A Second Childhood

 Over time I have made some observations about grandparents. Not judgments, observations:

• They are often indulgent because they want to make up for what they believe they could not give their own children (ironically, mine weren't particularly generous - ask any of my cousins - but there are exceptions to every rule).
  
  
• They are trying to make up for the parenting mistakes they made with their own kids that run the gamut from working too much, being too impatient, too judgmental, you name it.
  
  
• They are pursuing a second childhood through their grandkids (again, mine missed that day in Grandparent School - and maybe that's why I would watch others so closely).

Once I became one I had to plead guilty on all counts. And I'm sorry, but I'm not all that sorry about it. There are some lines I have to sometimes be reminded not to cross, and I try to let my child raise her own children without being a total helicopter parent. She'll have to tell you how I do on that count.

But in light of my last post, I thought I'd start with the fun one to lighten the mood: getting a shot at a second childhood. And in that regard, I'm all in.

Life can tend to suck: it's stressful, full of obligations and now, as we head into our fourth quarter, we're often limping into the huddle with bumps and bruises. But when the opportunity to spend time with the Grands (as I collectively call mine) arises, life's problems get shoved aside and it's time to just live. Now I'll grant you, they often have more energy than I do, or can sustain anyway, but I'm getting a chance to indulge unapologetically in things I wouldn't get too ordinarily. As a friend recently observed from my social media, we go to the zoo a lot. For one, it's easy and close, but I love the zoo and so does my granddaughter - her love is more about the fact that they have ice cream and cotton candy, I think, than the animals themselves, but hey we can have dovetailing interests. With her on our Adventure Saturdays I have the unbridled excuse to go to the Science Center, the zoo, the aviary, the Natural History Museum, the children's section of the library, the park, the mall, shopping for toys, and oh yes, a lot of ice cream stands. Ironically about the only thing we haven't really done a lot of is go to the Children's Museum - got to leave something for the actual parents to share with her I suppose.

With my grandson, I've been able to re-engage with my childhood fascination with Godzilla. I might feel a little guilty about encouraging that one I will admit: after all, the Titans do tend to do a lot of stomping on cities and terrorizing of people on their way to being a metaphor about the nuclear age, but I will make the argument that I grew up watching Godzilla, and I feed birds and rescue dogs - I got the message of those movies early on and am not a violent person, so I think he's intelligent enough to do the same. The other day we watched the Miles Morales iteration of Spider-Man.  Candidly, those are brilliant films, and if you haven't seen the two animated installments of the Spider-Man franchise, do yourself a favor: grands or no grands, and check them out.  But I can and do because I've got the built-in excuse of entertaining a nearly 7 yr-old boy.

With grandchildren, we have ready-made excuses to go to parades, fall festivals, carve pumpkins, bake cookies, go to ball games, you name it. We get to watch their excitement and catch onto some of it when they experience something for the first time.  They provide us the very necessary opportunity to be reminded that life is not just about our obligations, but it's about living. They remind us that big joy can be found in little packages. I am blessed to have them in my life to remind me of these things.  And if it took getting older to get to that, then I'm fine with it.