I guess this whole project started when I was looking in the mirror worrying over all the gray showing along my temples as I tried to tame my hair in preparation for a video meeting. I was in that middle phase - weeks had passed since I dyed it but if I didn't want to completely fry my hair I had weeks to go before I could reasonably cover it again. But then what? The cycle would repeat itself. There's a saying about insanity that springs to mind here...
As I stood there staring at myself, undoubtedly more critical than almost anyone on the meeting would be (six men and only one other young woman who - through no fault of her own - probably sees me as old no matter what color I adopt), I thought back to what my younger self would say. She'd say "fuck it, stop the madness and just accept who you are." (Oh yeah, warning, there will be cussing in this blog.)
And since that moment, roughly two weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about that younger me and this me, and working to reconcile the two. We're the same, and yet we're not. I'm also trying to define for myself what aging gracefully is going to look like. Trust me, that's a big difference from the young me and the now me and what we have to say on that particular topic. Young Me thought she had everything all figured out for everyone about how they should behave as they matured. Young Me could be an insufferable little shit sometimes. Yet she did have the power of her convictions; I have to give that much to her. Older Me spends every day trying to figure it all out.
Anyway, as this little inner dialog went on in my head while I pulled out a spray bottle of temporary tint to get me through the meeting, I thought it might be interesting to write it all down and invite others to share their own journey down the yellow brick road of life. One thing I can tell you for sure: if you're lucky enough to get to the age of senior discounts, you've seen some shit. So let's all share our wisdom and how we're dealing with the reality of never, ever being mistaken for Taylor Swift for the sake of camaraderie, maybe to pick up some tricks and tips from one another, and - what I really hope for - share some laughs at ourselves as we journey on this sometimes rocky yellow brick road.
What did I decide you ask? Insufferable or not, I decided Young Me had it right this time. I got some color remover and stripped my hair of the dark, almost blood red color I'd adopted for the last five years, bracing for a shock of white. I was shocked, that much was true, but turns out there wasn't nearly as much gray in there as I assumed there was. What shocked me was the re-emergence of my natural color, a light strawberry brown. I found myself staring in the mirror again. I hadn't seen that version of me in a long time, just now streaked with some "life experience".
Today I went to the salon for the first time in a long time and got it cut into a short bob. The gray along the temple ceased to be an issue because I'm not compelled to pull it back in a ponytail any longer and the gray on top is manageable. Overall, it was less dramatic and traumatic that I was steeled for. And now I'm free from the dye. Of course, on the flip side, the salon and the lovely stylist I met today has their hooks in me every 8 weeks to keep the hair styled, but she offers me tea and massages my head, so it's a trade off I'm okay with.
In short, score one for the old girl with a tip of the ball-cap I don't need to wear anymore to the young girl who whispered across the years to give me some good life advice.
If you're looking for a photo, yeah, I came straight home and painted the front porch. Makeup running with my sweat, it's not pretty. I'll owe you one. In the meantime, if you're curious, this is the product I used. I noticed too late a review that mentions the smell. Oh, that's so true - but after a salon wash, it's finally gone.
Now you're turn: are you happy with the gray or still saying no way? There's not a right or wrong answer. Well, actually, I take that back. There is. The right answer is the one that makes you feel good.
